that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
