420 ftw
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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