you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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