Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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