Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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