That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
