There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
