OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
