That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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