would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
