you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
