shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Enjoy the penises
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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