Please, let me fuck your mom
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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