YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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