Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hippo gnu deer
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
