drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
