she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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