Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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