Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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