yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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