It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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