WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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