walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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