We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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