am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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