watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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