But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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