I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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