I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
