No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
