I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
