i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
