trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize