omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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