Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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