If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I look better un-naked...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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