You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this beer tastes like vomit already
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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