I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Randomize