does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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