it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
