I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize