I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My dad is sitting where you rode me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
