don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
