Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
nutella sex= disaster
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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