If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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