Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
