OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
