For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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