I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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