He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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