if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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