I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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