I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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