He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
