you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
