She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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