erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize