The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
