Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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