Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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