dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
