just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
