Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up under a house in Key West
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
