party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
