I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize