dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
