I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize